Walking the Grey Mists

Path Forging - Parting Ways with a Deity

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 01:29:00 +0000

Funnily, this wasn't a subject that I'd included in my original list of possible Path Forging topics, but this has come up in a couple places recently and seems worthy of a little time.

What happens when your relationship with a deity is no longer beneficial or helpful?
What circumstances would cause you to end a working relationship with a deity?
Is it necessary to try to resolve any problems with a deity before ending your relationship?
Are there circumstances in which one might briefly work with a deity but then initiate no further contact?
What are the consequences of ending a working relationship with a deity on a bad note?

Ending unproductive relationships is a difficult endeavor for many people, myself included. We often will continue to cling to the relationship in hopes of savaging something of value from it. We make promises to ourselves - "I'll leave if she comes home late again" or "I'll stay until things settle down" - only to break them or make excuses to remain longer than we'd intended. We want to find something good, something worthwhile, in our relationships with others. Admitting that someone we once cared for is no longer good for us or worth our time can be a very difficult and daunting task. More so when that someone is a deity.

Celebrating the Dead

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 23:19:00 +0000

El Día de los Muertos and Samhain are quickly approaching and this is the season in which the dead are acknowledged and celebrated. Even for those whose spiritual paths do not include either holiday, this time of the year can embrace a celebration for the departed.

Some ideas for celebrating the season:

The Memory Circle - This is a gathering of friends and family to celebrate the life of a single individual. Choose a meeting place - private is usually better, as this can be an emotional event. Within your selected space, have everyone sit in a circle. In the middle of the circle, place photos and momentos of the person. Each person at the gathering then shares a personal memory of the deceased. End with a prayer or appropriate closing remarks.
A Dumb Supper - "Dumb" in this case means silent. A dumb supper is a feast held in silence to honor of the dead. Solemn and reverent, this can be a moving celebration. To enhance the experience, place pictures of the departed around the table, serve the dishes on black dinnerware, and dine by only candlelight.
A Ghost at the Table - If the idea of a dumb supper seems a little intimidating or more than you're able to do, set an extra place at the table in honor of those who have departed. If you wish, speak to the departed as if they were joining you at the table- tell them the things that you wish to say and invite them to continue to be a part of your life.
An Ancestor Shrine - Various cultures have traditions that involve the creation of a shrine to honor one's ancestors. You can do this yourself by selecting a spot to set up the altar (a small table or shelf works well). Drape with a cloth - black and white are both colors associated with the dead. Place on the altar items that remind you of your ancenstors such as photos and momentos. If you wish, you can include candles, flowers, and other decorations. Regularly spend time focusing on the shrine and the memory of your ancestors.
Graveside Picnics - This is a variation on the idea of dining with those who have parted. It is just exactly as it sounds - a picnic held near the graves of loved ones. These gatherings are typically much lighter in mood than dumb suppers and may include libations and offerings of food left at the grave. Please, please be respectful of the rules of individual cemeteries and of other people who may be visiting the graves of their deceased.
Memorial Tree - If you are celebrating with others or remembering a large number of people, this idea is a simple way to celebrate if you have a tree with low hanging branches on your property. To do this, you'll need ribbon, small scraps of paper that have been hole-punched and writing instruments. Have everyone write out a message or memorial to a deceased friend or loved one and then using the ribbon, tie the message to the tree. If there's a common thread such as those who have died from breast cancer, you can tailor your ribbon and paper colors to reflect this.
Offerings for the Deceased - This can be a simple as a libation of water poured onto a grave or a stick of incense burned in memory of the deceased. In some cultures, small stones and pebbles are placed on the the grave. Other offerings can include food, sweets, alcohol, coins, and for children, small toys. Again, if leaving offerings at a grave, please be respectful of any rules or prohibitions that the cemetery may have.

These are just a few ideas. No matter how you celebrate, the important thing to remember is that the dead were valued friends and family members and even now, deserve to be treated as such.

Understanding Innocence and Experience

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 15:33:00 +0000

I'm going to step away from the Path Forging entries for a moment to talk about innocence, what it means, and what constitutes a state of innocence in a spiritual sense of the word. The description of someone as an "innocent" can be very provocative and for me personally, engenders feelings of fierce protectiveness that stems from an as of yet unknown source. It's a charged term, laden with meaning no matter what your path may be. It implies one who is ignorant of the darker side of spiritual matters and indeed of life itself.

There is an expectation that children will be to, varying degrees, spiritually innocent and without a concept of the darker shadows of their spiritual selves. As it should be. However, there comes a time for most of us when spiritual innocence no longer applies as a descriptor. There comes a time in our lives when we are exposed to and recognize the darker side of our spiritual existence. This exposure may come as a gradual, gentle understanding that all is not love, peace, and kindness... or it may come in a violent tumult in which one is forced to deal with the ugliest aspects of spiritual development without warning or assistance. How we cope with this loss of innocence affects our paths in the future and can shape not only our spiritual selves, but how we deal with our mundane lives on a daily basis.

What constitutes spiritual innocence in an adult? At what point does innocence turn into willful ignorance? Should an adult indeed even possess a state of spiritual innocence? These questions have come up recently and I've been chewing over them, trying to get a better grasp on my own feelings. As someone on a solitary, self-forged pagan path, my own state of spiritual innocence is so far removed from who I am now that it is only the vaguest of memories. Personally, I'm not mourning for it. Spiritual innocence, in my case, was a weakness, an Achilles' Heel that prevented me from understanding my own worth and value.

Understanding our own innocence or lack of thereof is a relatively simple thing, but how do we gauge the innocence of others? Two friends recently had an interesting discussion that brought up the question of spiritual innocence in the case of someone who was seeking someone to cast a spell that was decidedly dark, dark grey. One person argued that the seeker was an innocent who was not familiar with concepts like dark magic, karma, the three-fold law, etc. While it could be argued that the seeker is ignorant of the practice and ethics of magic, I have trouble thinking in terms of this person as an innocent. Being born and raised in Western culture and now an adult in a position of responsibility, I'm fairly certain that the seeker has been introduced to concepts like the golden rule, "you get what you give", and "what comes around goes around." The language and terms are not the same, but the underlying concept is the same. In this case, I'd call it willful ignorance, not innocence.

Even when we can determine the state of spiritual innocence and experience in others, the question is what do we do with that information? Is spiritual innocence something to be cherished and preserved for as long as possible? Or is it something to be quickly banished in favor of a fuller understanding of all aspects of spiritual existence? As usual, I seem to have more questions than answers when applying the idea to my own path. Such is the search for understanding...

Path Forging - Divine Work, Geas, and Taboos

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 23:53:00 +0000

In the last Path Forging post, the questions revolved around what it means to serve deity and what forms that service might take. For many of us, service to a deity means that not only are we expected to do work on their behalf, but also that we face one or more geas or taboos as we do so.

So, a few questions to ponder:

Does deity demand that you work on their behalf? If so, what is the nature of this work?
Does your deity have expectations of things that you will do at their request?
Does deity impose rules, restrictions, or limitations on your behavior and actions?
Are taboos or geas a part of your path?
Does your deity explain the reasons for such prohibitions?
What are the consequences of breaking one?

Although, I've posed only a few questions, my answers to them may take a little more space than usual. My patron goddess does indeed demand that I do "her work", but her work in its most basic sense involves living and acting in a way that is true to my own soul. It is her will that I make the most of the gifts that I have been given and share those gifts with others in ways that are appropriate (i.e., not harmful or destructive).

In a way, it seems quite simple. Be true to my innermost self and I can't go wrong. The problem is that being true to who I am is not always a simple matter. Like many other human beings, I don't always know or understand what it is that my soul was born to be or to do. It can be difficult to determine if what I want to do is simply a product of logical thought or something more fundamental. Part of my inner work is to figure out, with her guidance and the aid of others, what it is that my fundamental being is meant to be doing. With her help (and those guided by her), I have come to understand that my work for her is to include teaching, healing, guiding, nurturing, protecting, and stewarding. This does not mean that my vocation needs to be one of doctor, peace officer, or teacher. It simply means that I must find my own ways to do these things as a part of my day-to-day existence.

There are geas that affect what I do, but for the most part, they aren't open for public discussion (a geis about geas!). Sometimes the reasoning behind them is explained and sometimes it is not. Many take the form of "I (Herself) will allow a, b, or c... if you abide by rules x, y, and z." I am, for example, allowed to exercise whatever mediumship abilities that I may have, but there are things that I must heed in order to continue to do so: 1. This gift may not be used solely for my own profit, 2. I must help those She sends to me who need assistance in matters regarding spirits and hauntings, and 3. I cannot seek out or initiate contact with certain souls that I've known in this life. The penalty for failing to follow these rules is that I temporarily lose the ability to sense, see, and communicate with those who have passed. Yep, my life gets weirdly complicated at times. :)

Path Forging - Serving Deity

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 00:35:00 +0000

Our conversations about deity continue with this lastest Path Forging post and I'd like to shift the focus to how we may or may not serve the deities which we follow.

Does your deity require you to serve them in some manner? If it is not demanded by your god(s), is it a requirement of your path or your own personal desire to serve deity?
What forms does service to deity take?
If it is not required (either by deity or your path), do you still seek ways to serve your deity?
Does serving deity affect your day-to-day life? If so, what impact does it have?
Does service to deity take higher priority than other types of service (e.g., to your country, to your community)?
If you refuse to serve deity, are there consquences or penalties?
Does service bring you closer to deity or help in spiritual development?

I will likely have more to say about my personal outlook on serving deity in the next Path Forging post, but I do serve my patron deity at her bidding and as she wills it so. My service to her takes priority over other forms of service, yet there is rarely a conflict, as it is usually her will that I serve others when my help is needed. This means that, at her bidding, I often find myself serving my community or assisting individuals.

Refusal to serve is an option open to me, but if I do so, it is with the full understanding that she will not sheild me from the consquences of any refusal that I choose to make. We aren't talking about being cast into some stygian darkness for disobediance. Rather, it is reality that she provides no small amount of protection and guidance to me and will not hesitate to remind me of what it means to stand alone without her blessing. I have, for a period, walked my path without her guidance. For me, this is not some form of hell or divine retribution, just a life made more difficult than it needs to be, an existance without the grace of divinity present.

Path Forging - Communicating with Deity

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 22:13:00 +0000

Perhaps you've noticed that the Path Forging entries are becoming quite focused on Deity. The relationship between human and deity is one that is, I think, both the simplest and most complex one that any of us will ever experience. At its most basic, this relationship is one of belonging... us to our gods and our gods to us. At its most complex, the relationship can be one that is, at least for we humans, difficult to navigate.

As in all relationships, communication is the key to making things work. Communication with deity varies through history and across cultures, yet is a vital part of worship for many. Some questions regarding the subject follow:

Do you communicate with deity?
What form(s) does that communication take?
Is this communication formal and ritualized or more casual?
Is regular communication with deity important to your path?
Can a person communicate directly with deity or is it necessary to have a mediator such as a religious leader or spiritual guide to facilitate communications?
Does deity respond to your communications? What form do these responses take?
Who typically initiates communication? You or your deity?
What types of information are communicated between you and your deity?

I'll keep my answer short and simple: yes, I communicate directly and often with multiple deities. That, I think, is enough of answer, as my primary purpose is not to share my experiences, but to spark each person to think about their own experiences and answers.

Path Forging - Dedicating to a Specific Deity

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 22:48:00 +0000

As we progress down our spiritual paths, we may come to a crossroad in which it becomes appropriate or even necessary to dedicate ourselves to the service of one or more deities. While it may seem simple on the surface, choosing to follow a particular deity can create a new set of questions.

Whose decision is it when a person dedicates to a specific deity? Is it entirely up to either the worshipper or deity? Or is it a case of mutual agreement?
Is a formal dedication or declaration necessary to follow a deity?
Is it even necessary to dedicate oneself to a deity?
Is it necessary to ask a deity's permission and/or blessings before declaring oneself a follower of that particular deity?
Does dedicating yourself to a specific deity alter your ability to work with other deities?
Does your patron deity require that you seek permission before working with other deities?
If you regularly work with or are dedicated to more than one deity, what happens if there is a conflict of interests between those deities?

I can only speak from my own experiences as I ponder these questions. My patron goddess choose me, I believe, but also has given me the choice of whether I accept her patronage and permission to give up that patronage at my choosing. For me, there was never a conscious formal dedication; I am and have long been simply Hers. This patronage existed long before I became aware of it and it seemed only to be a matter of my recognizing the relationship and making the decision to embrace that relationship.

Because I am claimed by her, my interactions with other deities are affected, although the impact isn't horrible. She does not claim, as some deities would, that she is the only deity and that divine worship is to be hers alone. However, there is an expectation, both hers and mine, that I submit to the will of other deities only with her blessing. There are other deities with whom I have forged a working relationship and whom I feel I can call upon if necessary. Always, though, it is her will that has ultimate rule over me, as it should be.

Ah, The Crucial Question

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 23:26:00 +0000

"Will you walk the road to your destiny, or must the Gods drag you to it unwillingly?" ~Marion Zimmer Bradley, The Mists of Avalon

Life, or to be more precise about it, my life, seems to be a web folded in upon itself. Points that seem to be disparate connect in unexpected places with other seemingly unlinked spots. In this sticky folded mass of interconnectedness, it happens sometimes that a particular idea or notion will stick in several places and it seems that even though I go in a different direction, the same notion will appear again and again. Whether meant to be omens or merely interesting distractions, these things happen more and more frequently as I grow older.

Take the quote from above for example. I stumbled across this particular quote written on slip of paper in a journal. More precisely (and why it gains enough significance to be written here), the journal belonged to Andy and recently came into my possession. The paper on which he'd written these lines was actually my business card. It made me laugh, because being unwillingly dragged by the Gods was how I ended up with Andy back in my life in the first place.

A few days later, I finally decided to read The Mists of Avalon. When I read the now familiar quote in the book, it was hard to know whether to laugh or cry. Life, again my life anyway, is full of these strange co-tangents of seemingly unrelated moments connecting at a single point. Nearer to winter solstice, I had the warning that things were going to change and that I could either embrace those changes or struggle against them. In either case, the warning was clear- the changes would happen whether I willed them or not. So the question becomes the one that Bradley has asked. Do I willingly walk my path or be dragged down it, arriving in the end at the same destination?

Path Forging - Relationships with Deity

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 19:01:00 +0000

The subject of humans' relationship with deity is a profound one, covered in countless texts and chewed over in countless debates and discussions. Ironically, I also just addressed this question from my own perspective on TC earlier today. It is a subject worthy, I think, of consideration by anyone who believes in the existence of deity.

Some things to ponder:

What is the nature of your relationship with deity? Is it one of parent/child, student/teacher, partners, or something entirely different?
Is fostering this relationship important to your path?
If you are polytheistic, do you favor one deity over others?
Do you limit yourself to a particular pantheon of deities?
How did you come to know or be aware of your deity/deities?
Did you choose the deity you worship or was he/she/it/them chosen for you?
Does your relationship with deity ever falter? If so, how do you repair it?
Are there deities with whom you have an adversarial relationship? If so, what is the source of those feelings? How do you deal with that deity?
If you are dedicated to a single deity, is it conceivable that you would work with other deities?

Yes, there are a lot of questions there. To answer the first of them, I'm just going to quote what I posted to TC, rather than compose a whole new response: When it comes to my primary deity, I am daughter, sister, partner, student, partner, devotee, soldier, employee, and handmaiden all at once. Yet that doesn't quite cover it. It's a complicated relationship, but really, it can be simply stated: I am Hers... of her, belonging to her, and devoted to her. What form that relationship takes largely depends on the circumstances of the moment and what is needed.

The remaining questions I'll treat as rhetorical for the sake of time and space here.

Path Forging - Defining Deity

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 19:30:00 +0000

While I continue to forge my own path on a daily basis, I'm afraid that writing about it has taken a backseat to some many other aspects of my life. As winter settles down upon my little corner of the universe, I hope to get back on track with these entries.

Here's another set of questions to ponder as we travel our individual roads:

How does one define Deity?
Are there qualities or traits that make a being divine?
Can deities exhibit so-called negative attributes?
What form(s) does Deity take?
Are all gods/goddesses one or is each an individual being? Or are various deities part of a greater whole? Can they be both?
Does/can Deity have a physical form?
Are deities extant/immortal or can they die?
Do deities take an interest in the affairs of individuals?

If these questions seem random, that's because they are. Trying to understand deity is an intimidating and impossible task. Each question that we ask leads to a hundred others. Our answers to the questions shape our spiritual paths, as well as our understanding of the universe.

The Longest Night

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 01:30:00 +0000

Solstice quickly approaches, ushering the winter season here in the Northern Hemisphere. At the request of a friend, I share a blessing/prayer/meditation for the longest night of the year.

On this longest night of the year,

may you find warmth in the cold,

illumination in the darkness,

peace in the silent solitude,

and hope in the bleakest hours.

In the darkness of this night,

may the fire burn long in the hearth

and love burn longer in your heart.

Solstice blessings to all who pass through here upon their journeys. May life provide much of what of you want and all of what you need. ~Ais

Notes from the Coffeehouse - Home Is...

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 15:09:00 +0000

It's been awhile since I've been able to spend quality time at my favorite coffee place and the last few visits have consited of to-go orders, grabbed hastily en route to some other destination. Today, however, there is no place else that I need to be, no other errand more pressing than simply enjoying the time spent here.

Yet, as I settled into one of the comfy couches with a peppermint mocha and the intent of working on another writing project, Homeward Bound began to play and a subsequent conversation with one of my neighbors led to a discussion of what home is and how we perceive home. It's a timely conversation as it is the time of year when everyone make plans to visit out-of-town relatives and friends. The vast majority of my friends are planning to return to their hometowns or to welcome their families into their homes for the coming holidays. Others, who are not able to journey to see their loved ones are bemoaning the fact that they won't be home from the holidays. I'm in the small minority who is not traveling and who plans to spend a quiet holiday weekend at home without having hordes of family descending.

My concept of what constitutes "home" is, I think, perhaps a little different than that of most people I know. I have no ties to the town in which I was born and a lifetime of nomadic wandering has left me with ties to many locations but no feeling of permenance relating to any of them. The place in which I live now feels the most like my geographic home of all the places that I've lived, but I'd be a liar if I said I hadn't considered moving on from this place as well. In fact, I think often about where life will take me next, where I'll reside next.

So what then is home for me? It is not where I hang my hat or the town in which I park my car each night. Of course, there is the tired cliche that home is where the heart is. When I think of the places where my heart resides, I'm inclined to think that perhaps this is closer to the truth. Yet, parts of my heart reside in dark corners, in places of hurt and loss that are far from being a home to me. A bit of my heart resides in ashes scattered over Puget Sound, but home is not in those cold waters. Nor is home in those painful last days of my father's life where a bit of my heart was left behind. Home is not in those moments of suffering, sorrow, and painful growth.

Home is a collection of moments, places, and people that I cherish and love deeply. Home is giving comfort to someone in need. Home is standing at the rim of the Grand Canyon one Christmas eve as a light snow fell in a moment of deep, meditative silence. Home is the sound of my best friend's voice travelling five hundred miles of phone line to just to say hello. Home is feeling the presence of my spiritual guardian constantly surrounding me. Home is the zen calm that writing brings to me. Home is the memory of looking into Andy's eyes and knowing that I was accepted and loved unconditionally. Home is looking into a child's eyes and seeing the potential that resides in them.

In short, home is where my soul sings.

An Election Day Prayer

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 22:54:00 +0000

My normal inclination is to avoid talking politics in my blogs, but on this presidential election night in the United States, politics is the 800-pound gorilla in the room. This election promises to make history regardless of the outcome. Instead of talking about the options available to us or the issues that have already been discussed ad naseum, I share only this prayer:

I pray that every voice be heard, that every vote be counted,

that no one be denied the opportunity to make a choice.
I pray that every candidate be kept safe,

that they be given fair chance to make their stand,

that their hearts and minds be open and clear.
I pray that the election be calm and peaceful,

that all processes are smooth,

that all ballots are fairly counted.
I pray that our new leader be fair and just,

that his eyes will be open to his country's needs,

that his decisions be compassionate and humane.
I pray that our country will heal itself and its economy,

that it will be a shining example to the rest of the world,

that it will be peaceful and prosperous.
I pray that our planet will be positively impacted,

that it will be a safe place for children,

that there be a better future for all.

Blessed be, my friends, and don't forget to vote today.

Enough Said

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 00:35:00 +0000

Well, I suppose the phone call I just received was inevitable. Sooner or later, someone would bring it up and ask me what I'm planning to do in commemoration of the events a year ago. My friend asked how I plan to mark the year anniversary of Andy's passing; he wanted to know if I planned to talk about it in this blog, perhaps write about how those events have shaped my path. The answer is no.

What can I say that hasn't already been said? The best epitaph that I can write for him is that he opened the eyes of others to the beauty within their own hearts and souls. Nothing I can say would better sum up who he was or why he is so dearly missed.

I leave you with music, because in music, one finds bits of oneself and one's life. Here are ten songs for Andy... songs that he loved, that speak of what passed between us, and that touch upon my own feelings. For the friend that inquired if I'd pour my heart out in blog form, these songs are the answer.

Blessed be friends.

Autumn Blessings

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 23:17:00 +0000

It seems that summer has passed us by in the blink of an eye. Autumn has arrived here in the mountains and we're already anticipating lows in the 40's. Around me, the world is quickening and every living thing feels as if it is making that final push to do all that must be done before winter arrives. Geese are already passing overhead in their southward journey, plants are blooming again one last time, and animals are preparing for the lean, slow months ahead. My own soul feels the quickening of the season and there seems to be much to get done before Yuletide. The gardens beckon me to complete harvests, plant spring bulbs, and finish all the little tasks still undone. Other chores wait as well - cutting firewood, cleaning the gutters, and soon enough, raking leaves.

Of course, there is other, less mundane work to be done this season. Autumn is a season of thanks-giving... first for the harvest and summer's abundance, then for the dead who have passed and continue to look over us at Samhain, and finally, for our living family and friends who gather for the holidays. It is a time to become closer to the universe in which we live, both the physical world in which we dwell and the unseen worlds that surround us. In this season of thanks and connections, I want to thank you, dear friends, for spending time here on my blog. May your autumn be blessed.

Path Forging- Giving It A Name

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 22:43:00 +0000

In an attempt to organize both my thoughts and my beliefs, I've recently begun to codify my spiritual path by asking questions about faith, religion, belief, and related issues. Each question seems to lead to more with no end in sight. I do not view this as a bad thing, however, for each new question gives me an opportunity to examine my beliefs and spiritual practices. Some questions are fairly straight-forward and are answered simply. Others are, well, without answers and probably will forever remain so.

I'm going to begin posting some of the questions here on my blog under entries titled "Path Forging". Each entry will have a central theme. Read the questions and if you like, add your comments and additional questions. If they help you in examining your path, terrific, my sharing will have served a purpose other than simply recording my own path. I may add some additional commentary on the subject and possibly share some of my own answers. In any case, it's shared here as a way to spark discussion and encourage deeper consideration of our individual paths.

So, here's the first set, centered around the names we give our spiritual/religious paths:

Is it either necessary or important to have a name by which to label your path?
By what name do you call your own beliefs/religion/spirituality?
What does your choice of labels imply about your actual beliefs and practices?
If you've chosen a name associated with an established religious tradition, are your practices and beliefs similar to those of others using that same label?
If you do not follow an established tradition, how did you name your path?
What things need to be taken into consideration when applying a name to our beliefs?

The name by which we call our path is usually the first thing that we present to other people regarding our religious beliefs. It's a convenient way to describe what we believe and how we practice without going into long explanations. When someone says that they are Eastern Orthodox, Buddhist, or Catholic, there is a nearly instantaneous association of these terms with a set of beliefs and spiritual practices. Correct or not, the impressions formed by labels paint to the person hearing them a certain picture of who we are spiritually.

The problems arise when someone is not following a traditional path or one that is not well understood in mainstream culture. I am a pagan. For some, this term conjures images of devil-worship, anti-Christian sentiment, and human sacrifice. For others, it stirs images of flower children singing praises to Gaia and hugging anyone and anything that stops moving long enough (particularly trees). The problem is that neither of these images comes close to reflecting my beliefs or practices. To make it more problematic, paganism has more "flavors" than Baskin-Robbins. Wicca, recon, druid, asatru, kemetic... all embody very different different beliefs and practices.

I tend to explain my path as eclectic paganism. The reason that I use the term eclectic is to 1). establish that I don't follow a particular tradition within Paganism and 2). reflect that my beliefs are influenced by a wide range of sources. Even the term eclectic tends to come with its own particular set of problems, the foremost of these being that many in the pagan "community" have a disdain for what they assume is a sloppily-assembled pile of beliefs without rhyme, reason, cohesion, or logic. While that's not my path, I can understand the frustration that people feel when they hear the term. I feel frustrated with the people who simply pick and choose what resonates with them without trying to put the puzzle pieces together in a whole.

I try to keep my spiritual label at just those two words however. As an eclectic, I am very wary about appropriating other people's terms for their religious practices. For example, I have a form of mediation that I use for specific spiritual purposes that is influenced both by shamanic techniques and zazen practices. To call myself either a shaman or Buddhist would be a falsehood. I cannot claim either path as my own, nor would either path claim me as a follower. I give credit to both paths for having helped me to craft a method that works well for me but I do not try to lay claim to their labels as my own. It is just one of the many things that I must consider when constructing my personal path.

Our names for our paths influence the view others take of us, what does yours say?

Blessings for Solstice

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 21:51:00 +0000

I won't wax lyrically about this solstice day, except to wish you all an abundance of love and blessings. Whether it is the shortest or longest day of the year where you live, may it be filled with the things, events, and people who bring you happiness. May the gods smile upon you always, my friends.

Do You Believe In Magic?

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 18:33:00 +0000

In the course of a conversation about business, someone recently inquired how LunaSea's Monster Away! Spray (a room spray for banishing Boogie Men)is different than a regular aromatherapy spray. When I explained that we make our spray from herbs traditionally used for banishing and protection and do so only during a waning or new moon, this other-wise sweet lady turned to me and said "Do you really believe in that magic crap?"

Why, yes, I do believe in magic, just not the kind that is portrayed in Harry Potter. As much as I'd love to be able to flick a wand, utter a few words, and turn someone into a weasel, it simply is not possible. 99.9% of what is portrayed as magic in Hollywood is simply fiction and nothing more. I don't believe in that form of magic any more than I believe that Hans Solo is skipping around the universe with a hairy co-pilot.

The magic that I believe in is a tool for focusing energy and intent. It is a way for me to confirm to myself, the universe, and my deities what it is that I desire, it goes beyond merely wishing or praying for something. Magic puts the power of intent back into the hands of the user. By forcing myself to focus on a goal via a magic spell, I have to take ownership of what it is I am trying to accomplish.

Do I believe that burning a candle or saying a few words accomplishes my intent on its own? Not at all,they are simply aides to focus my energy on the goal and to put myself in the right frame of mind. Because I associate certain herbs, colors, etc., with certain things, it helps me to focus my attention to the matter at hand. Just as I'd pick my clothing to match an occasion, I pick the tools that are most appropriate to the type of spell that I'm doing.

Sometimes, I succeed in achieving my goals, sometimes I don't. In the end, though, I do believe in the magic of focusing your thoughts and actions to achieve your desires.

Belated Birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Thu, 15 May 2008 03:21:00 +0000

I didn't have the chance yesterday to note that it was (or would have been) Andy's 37th birthday. Needless to say, he's really been on my mind the last couple of days. I can't decide if it seems like just yesterday or a thousand lifetimes ago since he was here with me. As much as I wish things could have been different, life moves forward with or without us. I realize more and more every day that I still have much to do before I see him again.

Andy, I miss you my dear one, but I know you're never far way. Your light continues to shine on everyone you touched and we are blessed for having known you. May Isis keep you under her sheltering wings always. Love , Your Aisling

Answering the Call

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Sun, 11 May 2008 03:11:00 +0000

Anyone who reads tarot regularly knows the lovely lady shown here. Most often, the High Priestess card is interpreted as a card of hidden knowledge and intuition. It is her job to walk between worlds (heaven and earth, living and dead) and to be the keeper and dispenser of secret knowledge. She sits between pillars of light and darkness, surrounded by symbols of the divine feminine.

For me, this card always takes on a more specific meaning. When she appears in a reading being done for me (whether I read for myself or someone else reads for me), it's a very strong and clear signal that I am about to be placed in a situation where I have to step into the role of the High Priestess. It is a spiritual call to arms of sorts, a warning that I will need to draw deeply on spiritual energies and so-called supernatural abilities.

Two weeks ago, the High Priestess came up as the card of the day. That night, my dearest friend asked for my assistance in doing a banishing and cleansing at the house of a family member. The family felt that a negative spirit was bothering a small child in the household. A powerful witch in her own right, my friend has done many banishings and cleansings over the years on her own. That she asked for my help spoke volumes about her deep level of concern that she had about the situation as well as the level of trust we have in each other. Dearest friend upset, her family troubled, and a young one traumatized... I said yes to helping before she'd even gotten to the actual asking.

By accident or design, I found myself taking a more active role in this work than I'd originally thought I would. I hear and see spirits more clearly than my friend and was able to confirm her impressions from previous visits and that there was indeed the spirit of an older man who believed that the house was still his. We took a multi-faceted approach to the problem, working to banish this particular spirit from the house and then smudging and warding the home. We hung a protective amulet under the child's bed where most of the contact had occurred. For the child being bothered, my friend made a "Monster Trap" (a decorated wooden box to capture monsters) and I brewed up my version of Monster-B-Gone spray (which is a potion of non-toxic herbs that are said to repel negative energies and provide protection that's then scented with a mixture of calming oils).

Finally, we spent time talking to the family matriarch, who was full of well-thought, intelligent questions, most of which were directed toward me. I really hadn't come prepared for that aspect, but found that the right words came easily. Sharing my own experiences as a child helped, I think, give the family a perspective on their own child's reactions to things that had been happening in the house. Sometimes, I think that people in this situation just need reassurance that they aren't imaging things and that someone from the outside can understand and affirm what they've felt and seen. Sometimes, the best thing you can do for someone is believe them.

A week has passed since our afternoon of ghost wrangling and by all accounts, things are calmer and more peaceful in the house. The child in question takes the monster trap to bed each night and hasn't reported being bothered when he's trying to sleep. As for me, I'm still recovering from the inevitable energy drain that I always feel after intense workings. Yesterday was the first time I'd felt like reading for myself and lo and behold, the High Priestess was the first card turned over. A friend also read for me yesterday and the High Priestess and the Magician came up together. It looks like I still have some work ahead of me...

Random Thoughts - What Do You Send Out?

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 02:58:00 +0000

A friend is not feeling well, so I spent some time this evening doing a little long-distance healing work. As I prepared a candle for her, I found myself thinking of other friends and acquaintances who have been struggling lately with health and other personal issues. One candle became many and I found that I'd spent two hours in a state of prayer, meditation and focused healing.

Shortly after I'd wrapped up my work, an out-of-state friend called to say that he'd suddenly thought of me in the midst of a horrible afternoon and he felt suddenly relaxed and calm. I laughed and told Beau that I'd been thinking of him as well, sending a prayer that he'd find some peace and a resolution to the difficulties he's been facing. That conversation made me think about the fact that I usually only hear from Beau when I've spent time concentrating on him, whether it's in the form of prayer or simply reminiscing about our long-time friendship. We can go for months without speaking, yet if I stop and wonder what he's up to, it never fails that he's on my phone within 48 hours.

I believe that whether we intend to or not, we project onto the world our emotions and energy. A visit to any place where people have been held against their wills can quickly confirm this idea. Places where people spend a great deal of time in pain or agony seem to take on that misery as their own. It permeates the structures and the land itself and can affect those who are sensitive to emotional upheavals.

We can shape our environment with what we project into it. We can each choose what we give to the world. Do we let the stress and unhappiness of our day color the way we treat others? Do we project our negativity and insecurities into the world instead of internally coping with and processing them? Do we give a little of ourselves in the form of love and kindness? Do we send our blessings to the world when we find an abundance in our lives? What do you send out?

Into the Woods

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 18:50:00 +0000

I recently started reading Women Who Run with the Wolves and frankly, am surprised by the rave reviews and plaudits this work has received. So far it has come across as another piece of pop psychology, laden with annoying terminology and poorly analyzed analogies with little in the way of practical advice. For those of us who already run with the wolves, reading this book quickly turns into an exercise in tedium. Trying to imagine this book through the eyes of her target audience, I have to wonder if they're going to come away with anything more than empty words that inspire only discontent with their current lives.

Want to reconnect with the wild spirit that resides in you? Don't bother spending money on a Jungian analysis of fairy tales. If you feel you must have a written book to reconnect with that part of yourself, go out and buy a guidebook to local hiking trails, forests, or waterways. Then use it; go out into the woods and see for yourself what nature is, what wild means. Stay long enough to see the little details, both uplifting and unpleasant. Stand in silence and listen. The woods are never quiet or still. There is always something happening. A woodpecker's work may echo over your head or the wind may rattle dried leaves like so many old bones. Look for the little signs of life and death that surround you... fallen limbs, tender pine saplings, a spider's web. Don't fear what you find, just know it is all a part of that which you seek to reclaim. Your wild spirit does not reside in the pages of a book; it resides in the wilds of the land from which we have arisen and to which we again will return.

Eclipsed

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 23:56:00 +0000

Last night, my little corner of the world had the good fortune of relatively clear skies for viewing the lunar eclipse. For the astronomy geek residing in my brain, the eclipse provided a glimpse into the workings of the heavens.

For another part of me, the event provided me with a new perspective on things. Friends and regular blog readers have by now figured out that the last few months have been rough. Sorrow and struggle have been daily companions and whenever I feel that I am about to part company with these two, they borrow a little deeper into my soul.

Life has been filled with darkness as of late, but the eclipse has reminded me that the darkness is only temporary. Like the moon, I now travel in darkness, shadowed by something greater than myself, the gravity of which I cannot escape. Like the eclipse, this darkness is only a temporary state. In time, I will again stand apart from darkness and reflect the light and beauty of the universe. This darkness is only an impermanent shadow, from which my soul will emerge full again.

Random Thoughts - Putting a Window in that Wall

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 02:45:00 +0000

When life is not going well, I tend to withdraw into myself and put up barriers that would make a certain wall in China look less than Great. I am a Cancer after all and we excel at the fine art of retreating into our shell in times of turmoil. We also tend to snap at those who would try to come near us during those times, often whether they deserve it or not. Cancers have been known to snap at their dearest friends when feeling vulnerable; never mind what we do to those who we hold less dear. It's not right, but it is how we sometimes cope.

I have to admit that, in recent weeks (ok, since October) I've been playing the role of the crab a little too well. Those who know me well are aware of all things that conspired between Andy and myself, some of which I'm just not willing to share publicly. Sometimes I feel like I was handed a couple of very precious gifts only to have them taken back and smashed to bits in front of me. I miss him and I miss the life that I only had a mere moment of. Aside from love and loss, life in general just hasn't been very kind lately. So I've been slowly building layers of brick and mortar, withdrawing from my own life.

Closing doors and shutting out people is a well-honed skill for me. I excel at it after a childhood of constantly moving and a lifetime of battling depression. It's a good skill to have, unless of course, you close all the doors and shut everyone out. I've been edging closer and closer to doing just that.

Fortunately, I have a couple of friends and one guardian angel who will not stand for it. If the walls start getting too high, they start taking bricks down as fast as I can put them up. Between them, they always find some way to bring me out of myself. When simply saying "Stop behaving this way", one of them always manages to come up with a more subtle way to bring me out of my shell. This time they did it by giving me several pokes to check in with an online group where I had previously been fairly active.

After much resistance, I finally took a quick peek at the group. Someone who reminds me too much of myself (a depressed hermit crab!) had posted that day for the first time in weeks, a post full of deep pain, sorrow, and hurt. It was what I needed to snap me out of my self-imposed isolation and into action. It is impossible to stay withdrawn when I know that someone else needs desperately words of encouragement and acceptance. The geas to comfort and aid those I can is too strong and ingrained in me to be ignored. So I put a window into the wall I was building. I'm not quite ready to completely emerge, but I am ready to let in some light and air. Thank you to the people who helped me do that; you cannot know how much it means to me. I thank my Lady every day for putting you all in my life.

It Was Only a Dream... Thank the Gods!

noreply@blogger.com (Aisling) — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 17:39:00 +0000

I've spent entirely too much time lately pondering all the ways in which my life hasn't lived up to its potential. Included in this pondering has been the question of how differently my life would be if I'd choosen the safe, well-trod path of all that is normal and average. Last night, I recieved the answer to that question, in the form of a long and horrific dream.

The dream lasted most of the night and came in various tableaus that roughly covered the entire period of cradle to grave. The highlights, if you can call them that, included becoming a hairdresser, having a simple yet terrifically expensive white wedding in a Christian church, accepting a husband who was a full-time accountant and part-time couch potato named Bob, creating a marriage based on begruding tolerance with a dash of affection, maintaining a ridiculous house in the 'burbs, having kids who thought playing football and going to the mall were religious experiences, taking a Disney cruise every year, and eventually dying of old age and boredom in a sappily-named retirement community in a skin-cancer ridden state. It was a very regular, secure, safe life in which the most upsetting occurrances tended to be things like the death of a pet or the family arguments about where to order take-out food. It was an existence protected from all that is dark, scary, and unknown. It was happy, safe, boring, and by most standards, perfect. It was full of sunshine and daisies and completely vanilla flavored. In short, it was hell.

What made it so bad was not what it provided, but all the things that were missing from the reality of who I am. The really obvious things were gone: tattoos, multiple peircings, love of all things dark, my ability to spew witty sarcasms at the speed of light. Then there were the other things that are so integral to who I am... the very strong spirituality, the ability to see and understand things that most people are blind to, the need to wander and explore, my insatiable curiousity, and my openness to lifestyles other than my own. The dream was filled with a bright pleasantness, yet enveloped by a mediocrity and closed-mindedness that I can't begin to wrap my head around. Frighteningly enough, I was quite happy within the context of the dream and wouldn't have traded that life for any other. That aspect scares me more than any other.

So, even though I've gotten a sneak peek at what my world could have been like, I'm more than grateful to have been given the life I have. No, it's not perfect and yes, I tend to be the token freak at most gatherings. However, I've been fortunate to have some incredible, unique experiences and I've also been blessed with a good deal of love in my life. Presented with the choice, I'd gladly take the precious time I had with Andy over a lifetime with the man I'd married in that dream. The well-trodden and secure path has never been mine to take. Although I may sometimes question it, deep in my soul I know that the life I am living is the one I'm meant to have. There may be pain and darkness at times, but I am a more complete person for it.